5 Online Dating Tips for Women

The dating scene these days just isn’t what it’s cracked up to be! All I constantly hear are women complaining that they, “Can’t find a good man!”  That’s mostly because they choose to use online dating as the ONLY way to meet guys. They have given up on the traditional ways; join a club, volunteer, networking meet-ups, join a sports league, or even a freaking bar! Not all relationships start online as online dating sites claim!

So, if you still want to prowl the online dating world, there are things you need to know first.Remember, even though you are sitting at home in your PJ’s hiding behind a keyboard, you need to still be careful of whom and who you eventually decide to meet. Here are some straight forward tips to do just that!

1. Only arrange a meeting with someone you have been getting to know for a while now. If you feel that you are at the point where you want to meet someone, always meet them in a public place, away from your home and be sure to tell someone where you are going.
2. Do not tell him where you live. Never give out your address, until you feel safe to do so. This should be after a month of dating and also doing a background check. Once they know where you live, there is no going back.
3. Do not accept a ride on the first date. Use your own method of transportation. Even if they seem like a great guy, you should not get in a car with them. Especially if you are alone with them.
4.  Do not go to any secluded areas- including a his place, a hotel, and so forth. Even if you want to be alone, remember that you are on a date with someone you have no idea about. Yeah he tells you what he does for a living and blah.. blah… blah.. , but how do you really know? Give yourself a chance to really get to know  him out before you take his word for everything and before he takes you to his parents house on the beach.
5. Pay attention to your gut feeling. You don’t want to be kicking yourself later on if you didn’t listen to it when it told you that this guy was no good, and now you are stuck in a big complete mess.

Always put your safety above and beyond everything and everyone! There’s no turning back once you go ahead and let someone know all about your private life.  Always find out his first.  Remember, Google is your friend.  Google him. Find out who he is before you find yourself in a situation that you could have been avoided.

Join Stephanie Dolce on her talk show, “Ax the Ex” which will air this September on Facebook Live. Click here to follow and be a part of the show!

 

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Jealousy and the Ex

If you ever have joined the, “I love knowing that my mans ex hates me” club, then you know where I am going with this. There are many single women who date men who have been separated or divorced. Some women even date those men while they are going through the process of divorce and some of those men have children.

This is when sometimes things can get dicey. Things may start off as quiet and as calm as can be, until one day jealousy rears her ugly head. The soon-to-be- ex-wife has become jealous and a little upset that he has moved on and before her,* gasp* like it’s some competition.

It’s sad when a mom loves child support more than her children; what makes it worse is when she tries to keep the child away from a loving father who wants them, and use that manipulation to get him to stop the developing relationship with the new woman! She now as become obsessed and has begun feeling possessive towards the same man with whom she is legally separated from. What is worse that this is the fact that she will start to play, “the victim” to gain support and make him out to be the “bad guy” when in fact he did nothing wrong at all.
Guilt. This is now used to reel him back in because like I mentioned earlier, she is using the children as bait to keep him away from whomever he wants to be with. Some may say that she is “protecting” the children, but I say that if she wanted to really protect her children she wouldn’t be using them in her sick game.

Did you know the people who exhibit the most kindness are the first to get mistreated? This is true with anyone who cares deeply about someone and this rings true for all the men out there who are great dads and are going through the divorce process today. My advice to all of you guys out there is to never settle too quickly, don’t be cheap where you don’t get a lawyer and try to handle all of it on your own. Simply because you don’t know all the nooks and crannies of the legal system, there are ways of getting what you want and deserve in a divorce, and just giving her, “What she wants” sends the wrong message.

To those single women who are dating a man who is going through this crap, here’s my advice:

I have learned now that while those who speak about one’s miseries usually hurt, those who keep silent hurt more. As much as you can help, support and care for someone, it’s up to them to make the first move. Feeling helpless isn’t a great feeling, but the only thing you can do is tell him that you still care, tell him that you are here for him and hope to God he gets the courage to reach out.

To the guys who are stuck in this situation:

Men have this stupid idea that they can handle everything on their own but, you can’t take care of anyone else, until you take care of yourself. Let the woman with whom you are dating be there for you. Don’t let your Ex win. Legally she can’t take your kids away from you because you are dating someone else. The legal system doesn’t work that way. Since kids are involved, these exes often feel it’s their right to meddle in your relationships, no matter what. Maybe you should set up a meeting with your ex and your new partner, depending on how serious the relationship is, and iron out whatever feelings and problems have risen.

Remember, you have every right to be happy. And that sets an example to your kids.

And finally, to the all the soon-to-be Ex wives everywhere: Just because you aren’t called on your BS doesn’t mean people don’t know you’re full of it. If you’re so happy with your life why are you so worried about your ex-husband’s new love? Think of your kids and how your jealousy is affecting them. Everyone has the right and deserves to be happy. One day it’s going to be you, dating someone new. What goes around comes around, all I can say is, remember that.

Dating After Divorce: What to do and what not to do

These days, it’s not uncommon to hear that someone is going through a divorce. In 2016, The median length for a marriage in the US is 8 years with 90% of all divorces being settled out of court.60 percent of second marriages end in divorce and 73 percent of all third marriages end in divorce.

Currently, the divorce rate per 1000 married women is 16.9. Many experts feel that this is a much more accurate measure of true divorce rate than the crude rate. The divorce rate per 1000 married women is nearly double that of 1960, but down from the all time high of 22.6 in the early 1980s. Here are some more interesting facts on divorce:

Every 13 seconds, there is one divorce in America. That equates to 277 divorces per hour, 6,646 divorces per day, 46,523 divorces per week, and 2,419,196 divorces per year. That means there are 9 divorces in the time it takes for a couple to recite their wedding vows (2 minutes.) More than 554 divorces occur during your typical romantic comedy movie (2 hours) And 1,385 divorces happen during the average wedding reception (5 hours).

So, if you are divorced and reading this, now what?

You might be hearing from friends and family, “You need to get out there.” But what you’re probably feeling is either, “I don’t think I’m ready,” or “How do I even begin to start dating again?” Since I’ve seen so many friends go through it, I’m a big believer in, what I like to call, “The Take 2 System.”

The Take 2 System is quite simple:

The first step is to realize that you should wait about a year before seriously dating anyone. Yes, that is a long time, but when you end a relationship, a marriage, the healing process takes time. If you are still in love with your ex, you will probably compare everyone you date to him or her. Rebound love always turns out to be a disaster. Take time to learn to love yourself and enjoy the small moments of everyday life.

The second step is to think about what you want, what you don’t want, and identified the deal-breakers.

After that, the next step is to be open-minded to the possibility of finding someone new. This is how you know you are ready. It’s also best to become friends with someone first, not just jump head first into dating someone with all the “fringe” benefits. By that I mean, having sex. Sex is part of dating, but if you are seriously looking for a relationship then you might want to pass on sex for at least six months while trying to get to know someone for who they truly are, and not for what they “claim” to be. Don’t date anyone that you aren’t comfortable with and don’t date someone that is “forced” on you because your friends and family think they found the “perfect” relationship for you.

There’s a difference between who we love, who we settle with, and who we’re meant for.

The Only Period I Talk About Online Is A Punctuation Mark

According to PlanInternational UK on Twitter, they think it’s time we had a #PeriodEmoji. Um, what? My answer to this simply this: Of all that is holy, no! Hell no! Saying in a tweet that we don’t talk about periods enough…. blah, blah, blah. Um, has it ever occurred to people that not everything needs to be on social media? Has it ever occurred to PlanInternationalUK, that as a woman, we talk about periods enough and we talk about them in private with our closest friends? Has it ever occurred to people that don’t need #emojis for everything we do in life?

Yes, having your period is normal if you are a woman. But what one woman said to me in response to this crazy post was that it’s about “reproduction.” My answer to that is no, it’s not. Not every woman can reproduce. The fact that a woman is menstruating doesn’t necessarily mean that she can conceive and carry a baby to term. Some women continue to have periods but don’t ovulate at all. This medical condition is known as anovulation. You’re born with a fixed number of eggs but the number and health of your eggs declines as you get older. Infertility affects approximately 6.7 million women in the United States. Maybe that is something we should be talking about. Maybe we should be talking about adoption and making the process a lot easier than it is for those women who wish to be moms. But to adopt these days, you need to be a celebrity and have an abundance of money. There are probably a lot of children who don’t have a home that would have one if it wasn’t for this ridiculously insane high cost. But I will say that it is possible to find ways to arrange a private newborn adoption for $6,000 to $8,000; and not the $30,000 price tag of some adoptions. A lot of the price depends on two major factors, the lawyer fees and if the adoptive family is helping pay for medical expenses. And as I am in the process of writing my book, “The Road To Adoption,” there are many hurdles for couples and single moms/dads, especially if you try to adopt using the foster care system.

Again, as a social media expert I am telling everyone out there that not everything we do in life or experience in life needs to be on social media. It’s called social media for us to be social, it’s not a place where we should, let alone, need to share private things that happen in our lives. And seeing how some people are using personal Facebook pages as a business tool, which is a no-no for so many reasons, you will eventually kill your own brand by oversharing information with the public.

It’s normal to have our periods but tell me why on Earth we need to let everyone online know it? That’s ridiculous! What’s next? Are we going to have emjolis to let everyone know we are having wet dreams, having sex, or that we have sexual diseases?

Enough is enough. The topics we should be discussing we ignore and the things we don’t need to discuss we do. The social media generation needs to learn how to distinguish between what should be public and what should be private. Remember, once you push the send button that’s all it takes for your posts to stay online forever. Be wary and careful as to what you put online- it can bite you later on.

Don’t Do These 4 Things If You Want Your Business To Grow

In business, as in life, some of the best advice I learned early on was not to try to be all things to all people, because it typically means you are only trying to please everyone, but yourself.  Most of the time we  jeopardize our true strength to focus on what we may not be successful at and create overall pressures for ourselves, our budget, and our company as a whole.  We tend to not focus on the tasks at hand, and place our focus on things that are not going to help in making our business better, but weaker. I have seen a number of very smart people get into business only to ultimately fail because they didn’t look at their business through the eyes of how to have success, but instead focused solely on having the “build it and they will come” mentality.

The first thing I have seen business owners do that will not help their business grow is take things personally when things don’t go their way.  What I mean by this is simply this; they think the world is out to want them fail.  That couldn’t be further from the truth! The world is not out to get you. The world wants you to succeed.  The saying, “It’s business, not personal,” strikes a cord with me. If business is going to continue, someone has to be held accountable. The purpose of business is to make a profit, change the world, let your voice be heard, and that other things, such as personal feelings, must not be allowed to prevent this.  Now, that doesn’t mean you can’t develop personal relationships with co-workers, team members, clients, etc. It just means that you can’t let that fog your brain when you need to make an important decision about your brand.

The second thing I have seen business owners do that will not help their business grow is that they don’t take their bills seriously and they are always looking to save money, by cutting corners. First off, the saying, “You need to spend money to make money,” is true to its core. You can’t expect to make money when you are afraid to take risks. You need to market yourself and your brand. You need office supplies. You need money for insurance, rent, stamps, staff, etc.  Cutting corners and trying to save a buck or two, usually never works out. (This depends on the corners you are trying to cut. There is a thing called the Internet that can help you save time and possibly money. But use it wisely.)   There are the companies that don’t understand that when you hire someone to help you succeed, or purchase a different service, you are paying for that service.  Therefore, you need to treat every invoice as you would want your customers to treat your invoices. You have to remember that everyone has bills to pay, not just you. Always pay your invoices on time.  When you don’t, that is a reflection on you and your character, not the company’s.(From which you are paying)

Thirdly, it takes a combination of strategic planning and creative thinking to ensure that a brand or business is successful. Going into a business without a plan is never a smart move.  I wouldn’t want to start a business if I didn’t know if I had opportunities for it to grow, how long it will take to get it off the ground, and what effort and amount of energy I need to put into the business for it to grow.  A lot of times people don’t realize that the location, location, location,  of your business is going to have the most effect on if you are going to succeed or fail.   For example, opening a deli on a street with no foot traffic isn’t a good idea.  But at the same time, today, social media is the only thing that is going to either make you or break you.  And most companies hire “big” name companies that whisk them off their feet to handle their social media instead of hiring local social media experts to handle the gig. If you don’t hire the right people to help spread the word on your brand, you mostly are heading for failure. And not to mention, you are headed for sleepless nights!

Finally, the most important thing NOT to do, is to give up on your business too early. In today’s world, everyone wants instant gratification. But with patience, perseverance and determination, you can have your business grow.  Remember, Facebook wasn’t making any money for a very long time, and it was considered a billion dollar business. Stick to the fundamentals.  Good things, sometimes, take time.

You can follow Stephanie on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram

 

5 DIY Ideas For Planning A Wedding

Planning a wedding can totally consume you with excitement, yet it can very quickly become very stressful. Any way you look at it, DIY (Do It Yourself) started way before someone came up with the actual concept and marketed it. Today, DIY weddings are all the rage and the main purpose of doing a DIY wedding, is to add some beauty without breaking the bank. Here are 5 things that you can do on your own,instead of spending money on.

5. Framed Blackboard Wedding Program

One of the reasons to do this is because paper programs are often thrown away. Having a chalkboard in the lobby, at the door of the church, or reception, adds fun, charm, and it’s a great communication tool.

4. Ribbon-Tied Chairs

You don’t need to break the bank on having all the chairs in the reception or ceremony decorated. With the selection at a craft store to chose from, all you need to do is purchase colors that your bridal party of wearing and tie the ribbon to each chair where the ribbon will flow in the back of each chair.

3. Place Cards

Today, place cards don’t need to be so fancy. You create the template, and you create the style in which you would like to use. For example, it can be as simple as a cardstock piece of paper, or as creative as using Instagram photos of your guests. The point is, it’s up to you to get creative and you can save money on this part of the budget.

2. Welcome Bags

Whether you have out of townees or family/bridal party staying over at the hotel, the welcome bags are easy to make and won’t cost you an arm and a leg to make either! You can chose from paper gift bags, to cloth bags, to even plastic tote bags, the choices are endless. With dollar stores springing up everywhere, picking up soap, shampoo, advil, etc, to fill the bags won’t cost you a bunch either.

1. Photo Albums

There is no need for you to have photographer put together the photo albums for your parents, in-laws, and your memories anymore. With sites online such as, Shutterfly, Smugmug, and Snapfish, putting together the priceless moments, has become easy, painless, and less costly.

Why A Day Without A Woman Is A Joke

The first official National Woman’s Day, held in New York City was on February 28, 1909. (The organizers, members of the Socialist Party of America, wanted it to be on a Sunday so that working women could participate.) Thousands of people showed up to various events uniting the suffragist and socialist causes, whose goals had often been at odds. Women were demanding voting rights, better pay and shorter working hours. Labor organizer Leonora O’Reilly and others addressed the crowd at the main meeting in the Murray Hill Lyceum, at 34th Street and Third Avenue. In Brooklyn, writer Charlotte Perkins Gilman (of “The Yellow Wall-paper” fame) told the congregation of the Parkside Church: “It is true that a woman’s duty is centered in her home and motherhood…[but] home should mean the whole country, and not be confined to three or four rooms or a city or a state.”

On March 19, 1911 (the 40th anniversary of the Paris Commune, a radical socialist government that briefly ruled France in 1871), the first International Woman’s Day was held, drawing more than 1 million people to rallies worldwide. With the outbreak of World War I in 1914, most attempts at social reform ground to a halt, but women continued to march and demonstrate on International Woman’s Day.

Most dramatically, a massive demonstration led by Russian feminist Alexandra Kollontai that began on February 23, 1917 (according to Russia’s Gregorian calendar; it was March 8 in the West) proved to be a link in the chain of events that led to the abdication of Czar Nicholas II and the Russian Revolution. After the czar’s abdication, the provisional government formed until a constituent assembly could be elected became the first government of a major power to grant women the right to vote.

In 1975, recognized as International Women’s Year, the United Nations General Assembly began celebrating March 8th as International Women’s Day.

(Courtesy of The History Channel)

In 2017, the official theme for International Women’s Day is #BeBoldforChange, a campaign that calls on its supporters “to help forge a better working world—a more gender inclusive world.”

the organizers of the Woman’s March and the planned International Women’s Strike are asking women to go even further: take the day off from paid and unpaid labor, refrain from shopping and wear red in solidarity.

Just once I would like to see the women in the United States of America march/protest for the women in countries where the women don’t have any rights, let alone, don’t have the same freedoms that they do. But they won’t. I can guarantee that some of these liberal women will be marching/protesting against Trump like the sheep that they are.

“A day without a woman” sounds silly to me. Yes, women do a lot to make the world go around. Hell, we are the ones who carry the children and give birth. Some women are the bread and butter of their families. And some women are single moms and do it all. How come we can’t just celebrate womanhood? Can women actually march/protest seriously? What do I mean by seriously? I mean, can women actually march/protest without wearing pussy hats or V-jay hats, ( what ever you wish to call them), costumes of private parts, carry signs that are pointless and screaming vulgar things?

Ironically, women want to be taken seriously but then look like children having a tantrum doing marches/protests as this. None of this marching and protesting is helping to do anything but further divide an already seriously divided country. (And these women are blind to this since they think this stuff actually helps)

What ever happened to actually being proactive? Now we march, protest and look like fools for everything. International Women’s Day has now lost it’s value. How about having luncheons, ladies night out, donating to women charities, or helping out women-based businesses? You want to be proactive, I just gave you four suggestions.

You want equal pay? Taking a day off doesn’t help your case, actually it hurts it. And remember, a paycheck doesn’t show appreciation, which is what we should be celebrating today; appreciation for women. Yes, equal pay is important, but once again, women are going about that the wrong way.

I’m proud to be a woman and I don’t need a pussy hat, wear red, hold a protest sign, shout obscenities or some stupid chant that all the sheep are screaming to be a proud woman. I look back and see just how far we have come and I am proud of that. I instead decide to out work ’em, out read ’em, out last’em, Show up. Something today’s woman could and should take note. When you focus on problems, you will have more problems. When you focus on possibilities, you will have more opportunities. Life is all about – Choices. Options. Opportunities. And today’s woman in the USA can make many of her own choices, has many different options presented to her and is given many opportunities to shine.

So to all the women who feel that they are oppressed because of our government, name me one of your rights that was taken away, that you no longer have since January 19th. Don’t worry, I’ll wait, while you try to come up with one.

 

Why I Won’t Be Watching The Oscars Tomorrow Night

All year long, celebrities crave attention. No matter where they go or what they do, it’s always about them. Usually at Oscar time, we have to watch them give speeches about how hard it was making a particular movie. But now instead we have to watch them give speeches hating on the President, all because they are sore losers. Yes, it’s that dreaded time of year: award season. And to top it all off, Oscar host Jimmy Kimmel says Hillary Clinton may be making a cameo appearance at the award show to tickle the fancy of the little snowflakes.

Awards shows are NOT the place to voice your political opinions. Has it ever occurred to these selfish and ignorant Hollywood elites that maybe America would like a break from politics and be entertained NOT lectured?

I for one, will be boycotting the Oscars. #NotMyOscars

When the Hollywood elites open up their guest or pool houses to a refugee family, then I will listen to what they have to say. Simply talking about it or writing a check from their million dollar homes is meaningless. Celebrities have thousands at their elite parties and their celebrity chef prepared dinners and yet they NEVER give any of that to the illegal aliens they claim to want sanctuary given too — they only want them to be their servants, to mow their lawns, clean their houses, be nannies to their kids, and serve their wine. There’s nothing worse than racism and sexism cloaked in kindness.  Here’s the definition of a Hypocrite: The celebrities will start whining about all the refugees in their speeches and how this country was founded while they are wearing a dress or suit that sells for thousands of dollars and famous designer jewelry worth even more. And what’s even worse is, all these elites will give a big speech about hate, when they are ones doing the hating! We don’t need Hollywood but Hollywood needs us, and right now, I just don’t care anymore.  

So here in a nutshell is my advice to the Hollywood Elites for tomorrow: Smile, accept your professional accolades and get off the damn stage and your political high horses. Donald Trump is the President. Accept it and move on. Stop acting like a big baby because you didn’t get your way. Put on your big boy and girl pants and show some respect for the Office of the President. Be the example for the fans who put you in your position of fame by going to your movies in the first place.

Hollywood used to be glamorous and everyone wanted to be a movie star. After hearing and seeing all these stars over the past year, not anymore.

 

 

 

Don’t trade respect for attention

waiting

If you watch my Periscope video casts, you know how much I enjoy reading dating groups on Facebook. Today, I posted the above on a the dating groups and then sadly the desperate and  pathetic “girls” ( not women) showed themselves and posted the following comments under the picture:

“Yes I have naked pics for you at my Facebook profile.”

“I am looking for a date for the weekend. Check out my profile and drop me a message, if you like what you see.”

“Sent me a friend request and you can see my naked pics.
Who wants to chat with me?”

“I´m hot and Single *smile*. Please sent me a friend request, if you are single.”

Why are women today acting like complete and utter dumb asses on these dating groups? They trade respect for attention.  But sadly the only attention they are going to gain are those guys who are losers, guys who could be sexual predators, and guys who won’t, under any circumstances respect them.

This is what people don’t get, still to this day.  Respect given to you is a reflection on how you respect yourself. If you don’t respect yourself, others will walk all over you. People will treat you however you let them.  By all means, I want women to value themselves, their voice, body and their dreams. But that doesn’t mean parading around wearing a “pussyhat” screaming vulgar things either- that only lowers people’s respect for you. If you are demanding respect, you need to remember that it is better to be respected than to be popular. It’s always better to stand out, not to be a sheep in the crowd “just because.”

The moment you settle for less than you deserve is the moment you get even less than what you settled for. Too bad most people who use that dating group on Facebook seem to forget the following: Never spend your life seeking to be accepted.  Instead seek inside yourself and learn to accept who you are. If you have to gain a guy’s attention by saying that you have “naked pics” all you are inviting is trouble and heartbreak. Insecurity breeds insecurity.

Chapter Eleven: 7 Reasons Why You Are Still Single

Chapter Eleven: 7 Reasons Why You Are Still Single( From The Book, Hello Love, Where’s Cupid? 2nd Ed)

I hate being single!” or “Why am I so unlucky in love?” Do these sound familiar? If so, then welcome to Singlehood. I will admit, some people are really unlucky when it comes to love. I have seen it first hand. There are those who are still single due to being left in the “pool” while others are single due to being their own worst enemy. Then of course you have those people who call you “desperate.” Lets get one stereotype cleared up though: I am not desperate because I am single. I am single because I am not desperate. There’s a difference. If you are running from relationship to relationship, then okay, you are desperate. But if you struggling to find someone and you have your standards, you are NOT desperate, you are smart.

This chapter is NOT for those people. The ones who are smart enough to take a step back, look at the situation, and go slow finding someone to have a real relationship with instead of rushing themselves to the altar, are the ones who will “win” in the dating game.

This is for those who are sabotaging any chance they get at having a relationship and there are seven good reasons why you are still single.

Let’s start off small:

1- You have annoying habits that scare people away.

I know someone who has this annoying habit of talking with food in their mouth. I also know someone who is obsessed with their blackberry or iPhone. You interrupt people while they are talking and talk about something else or just talk on and on. This behavior was another relationship breaker that was mentioned.

2- You don’t pay attention and constantly make the other person repeat.

It doesn’t cost anything to pay attention. If someone is talking to you and you are too busy doing something else, what does that say about how you value the other person? We as a society need to learn to listen better. Most people just listen for the cue to when it’s their turn to speak. They don’t actually listen to what is being said.

3- Loyalty, Honesty and Trust issues.

Let me give you the straight definition of each term. Loyalty is faithfulness or a devotion to a person, country, group, or cause. Honesty refers to a facet of moral character and connotes positive and virtuous attributes such as integrity, truthfulness and straightforwardness along with the absence of lying, cheating or theft. And Trust is, the assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something. These three are tied together. When you don’t have one in any relationship, you don’t have any of them. When you are loyal, you don’t cheat. When you have faith that the person you love only loves you; then you have trust. And when you trust someone, you know that they are being fully honest with you about every aspect of the relationship.

4- You constantly talk about your ex or previous relationship nonstop.

I know some ladies who constantly talk about previous relationships as if they are still continuing. If you still talk about it, you still care about it. Period. When you have serious baggage you cannot and SHOULD NOT even start to think about having a new relationship. Work through and get over the previous relationship, before moving on to a new one. This is mistake that many single ladies make. They hop into a new relationship just so they can forget about how “Dave” ripped their heart into a million pieces, or they sleep with the first guy that glances over at them in a bar, restaurant, gym, etc. This is also very “desperate” behavior which signifies very deep self-worth, self-esteem issues. When you settle just for “anyone” to get over someone with whom you had an emotional and physical relationship with, you are setting yourself up for an even a bigger disaster. Then of course you have people who go out with someone just to get over their ex or because they fear being “alone” and then end up engaged but still hung over their previous ex. Here’s the thing: If you are not crazy about the person you are about to marry, take a step back. This doesn’t mean go chasing down your ex, since you cannot make someone else want to be with you. But you will be doing yourself and your future husband/wife a disservice by marrying them, when it’s obvious your heart is not in it. Remember, Love won’t grow just because you marry.

To get over an ex, you need time in between relationships. Jumping from relationship to relationship will not help you at all. The fact is rebounding is dangerous because you’re at your most vulnerable and have not had enough time to mourn the loss of your previous relationship and move on. You’re still suffering from heartbreak, even if you deny it. When you meet someone else without getting over the previous relationship, you don’t fall in love with someone but fall completely infatuated with the feelings you are feeling instead. You may gush over the rebounder, but the reality is, that you’re trying to recapture the feelings you had while you were with your ex.

You also have not given yourself time to look at WHY your previous relationship failed. Subconsciously you will make the same exact mistakes with this relationship that you just made with your previous one. So how long should you wait before getting involved with someone new? If you were together for six months, you wait 3 months. If you were together for 12 months, you wait 6 months. The key is to give yourself enough time to get through the pain you feel and get over him/her. That means erasing his/her number from your cell phone, erasing text messages, voice messages and deleting them from your social network. When you can do that, then you are over them.

5- You have a negative outlook on life.

First, don’t complain about someone not treating you right. If you know you deserve more, then why are you with them? Negativity breeds negativity just like positivity breeds positivity. If you have the “woe is me,” attitude, who wants to be around that and listen to it 24/7? I know that I don’t. Who wants to keep hearing how work stinks, how much you wish you could live somewhere else, or how everyone around you is having babies and families but not you?

6- You are oversharing too fast.

Making a full disclosure within the first few meetings can be disastrous since you are not aware how the other person is going to react to the “skeletons” you reveal. Again, your new date doesn’t need to know why you hate your family, why your previous relationships didn’t work, your money issues, etc. Once you share something, you can’t take it back either. Over-sharing. It has always been a problem but has become more so in the digital age. Just look at Facebook and how everyone shares every aspect of their lives. Everyone needs to know everything about everyone. And that’s a bad situation for someone who is meeting someone for the first time. People with bad intentions can get your information and either manipulate you with it or share it with others you don’t necessarily want it shared with. Then you will have put yourself in a position you could have avoided. Also, do NOT become Facebook “friends” with new suitors either. I would actually block them from finding you on Facebook and then once you get to know them, and feel confident/comfortable with them, allow them to then become your online friend as well. Remember, less history equals more mystery. More mystery leads to more dates. More dates leads to having a serious relationship. And if you want to let your potential suitors see your Facebook page, then you must be cautious as to what you post publicly. Remember, what you post can generally come back to bite you in the ass. It happens all the time. Don’t let it happen to you.

7- You have fantasy-like, unrealistic ideas about the opposite sex.

Sadly some women just want to meet a tall, handsome guy who has money and other perks that will make them live happily ever after. The problem with fairy tales is that they set a girl up for disappointment. In real life, the Prince goes off with the wrong Princess. If all you want is to be somebody’s “trophy wife,” you really are setting yourself up for disaster, heartbreak, and torture. Relationships shouldn’t be based on looks, money or perks. Relationships should be based on personality, compatibility, and civility. There’s a difference between being picky and being discriminating. Being picky is about focusing on traits and other details that look good on the surface. Being discriminating is about using good judgment and focusing on how well a man treats you and how you connect with him. (same for a man, a woman should treat you with respect as well.)

You must be clear about what qualities you’re willing to live with and what you can’t live without.

In today’s society we are all told that men need to be with someone “hot” and that women need to find a man with money. Don’t fall for what society tells you. Look at how screwed up it is. Never apologize for having HIGH standards because people who really want to be in your life will rise up to meet them. Stop dreaming about the fairy tale, stop wanting a guy to put you on a pedestal, and stop wanting the movie-like romance. Relationships are REAL. Treat them with a dose a reality, not fantasy.

There is someone for everyone, just because you haven’t met that special someone, does not mean you never will. Take this time in your single life to focus on you and love yourself, so when the right person comes along, you can wholeheartedly share that love with them too.

The Links To Purchase Book are here: http://www.stephaniedolce.com